One thought that has stuck with me, although I don’t know where I found it or who gifted it to me, is that if something is free of contradictions it is unlikely to be close to some kind of truth. In the video for ‘Imaan’ by Mustafa, we see the poet and the muse (the model and feminist activist Imaan Hammam) try out different poses, clothing, roles that could make them feel more comfortable in this world. The lyrics suggest a Montagues-and-Capulets-like situation, a context of impossible love that cannot hold back the kind of longing that feels like a personal fate.

Lyrics:

Imaan,

I’m standing here

by your work place

hoping that you’re there

 

I’m wearing the things you said

on my face

like they’re a prayer

 

you left me on a tight rope

between God and your father

& there’s not enough air

 

I know that you can’t hold me

but just hold me, in someway,

like you want me,

like you lost me,

I know

 

(Chorus)

what I feel, I feel alone

Imaan, you’re grown

you can leave if you want

 

there is nowhere for me to go

Imaan, you hold

everything in your palm

 

Imaan

You say praying isn’t easy

and all the ways you need me

are from God

and all the ways you reach him are flawed

 

I know our families would never find their way

to the same living room,

all of these bloodlines, all of these costumes

 

I know that you can’t hold me

but just hold me

like you want me

like you got me

 

(Chorus)

Oh what I feel, I feel alone

Imaan, you’re grown

you can leave if you want

there is nowhere for me to go

Imaan, you hold

everything, everything, everything, everything

everything, everything